Chats

Thoth: You know he belongs to me, right?
Baron Samedi: You don’t mind if I fuck with him awhile?
Thoth: *grumble grumble* Okay, he’s kinda worthless to me right now with his back all fucked up. He can’t sit in a chair and write for hours.
Baron Samedi: sweet…
Me: Can one of you assholes do something about my back?

Tarot Cards during readings for others: Patience and understanding will help you get through this

Tarot Cards during personal readings: When 👏 will 👏 you 👏 learn

Fallacy: Don’t do magic, seek medical attention.
Truth: Do magic to aid in the seeking medical attention.

Demon: Fuck you.
Ceremonial Magician: I COMMAND YOU BY THE POWER OF THE LORD TO OBEY MY ABSOLUTE WILL.
Demon:
Demon:
Demon:
Demon:
Demon: I came here to have fun and I honestly feel so attacked right now.

other country: wow we solved drug crimes by doing this and the problem is practically completely resolved
america: there is just no stopping the war on drugs……..
other country: we have the most successful schools because we implement these rules to encourage real learning
america: no hope……. kids just cant cut it anymore……..
other country: gun related crime is all but non existent thanks to our restrictions
america: wow….. if only there was some way to stop these shootings before they happened…………..
other country: nothing bad has happened as a result of our equal marriage/bathroom laws for lgbt
america: if only there was a way………………………..

What she says: I’m fine.
What she means: Yog-Sothoth knows the gate. Yog-Sothoth is the gate. Yog-Sothoth is the key and guardian of the gate. Past, present, future, all are one in Yog-Sothoth. He knows where the Old Ones broke through of old, and where They shall break through again. He knows where They have trod earth’s fields, and where They still tread them, and why no one can behold Them as They tread.

israel: (forcefully sterilizes ethiopian jews)
america: (silence)
israel: (demolishes the homes of palestinians on a huge scale)
america: (silence)
israel: (segregates buses so that palestinians have to ride separate buses from israelis)
america: (silence)
israel: (forcibly makes it so palestinians cannot visit parts of their own homeland)
america: (silence)
israel: (kills and oppresses the palestinian people in the name of a pure jewish homeland)
america: (silence)
palestinian civilian: (throws a rock)
america: OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG VIOLENCE!

Knowing what we know about the universe, that everything happening around us is simultaneously happening within us, doesn’t make it any easier to watch play out. There is this myth going around that enlightenment brings peace. It, in reality, reveals chaos. You must BE the peace, the light, the center of the storm, in order to preserve balance. We are entering a period of enlightenment on a grand scale. With that comes the shaking and quaking of our individual consciousnesses and thus the mentalities and reality around us. BE the peace you envision, fearless and true to all that is YOU.

Gabriel: I’m an angel. I kill firstborns while their mamas watch. I turn cities into salt. I even, when I feel like it, rip the souls from little girls, and from now till kingdom come, the only thing you can count on in your existence is never understanding why.
Thomas: Did you ever notice how in the Bible, when ever God needed to punish someone, or make an example, or whenever God needed a killing, he sent an angel? Did you ever wonder what a creature like that must be like? A whole existence spent praising your God, but always with one wing dipped in blood. Would you ever really want to see an angel?
Lucifer: Do you know what Hell really is, Thomas? It’s not lakes of burning oil or chains of ice. It’s being removed from God’s sight, having His Word taken from you. It’s hard to believe. so hard. I know that better than anyone.

Cocaine possession: 3-5 years in prison
Crack possession: 15 years in prison
Pirating music: Civil lawsuit and/or up to five years in prison
What these little rapist shits got: One year in prison