Month: October 2011
Dream Journal
09/30-10/01
I dreamt that I was a child, about 10 years old. Me and some others were on a beach, grey and desolate, the waves crashing upon rocks. We were playing this game where we would hop up on this low wall and then scoot across in a line. All the while we chanted a sing-song chant, like a rope-skipping rhyme, except this one was in praise of the Great Old Ones.
I could feel his massive presence. We were scared, but knew that there was no way to hide, no way to avoid what was to come. So we just kept on playing. And Cthulhu was on his way.
Magick Working Journal
09/29 & 09/30/11
Yeah, I fucked off yesterday, probably because I had shitty meditation. I meditate right before lunch, to give me a break in my day. I went down, put some stuff in the microwave to defrost, and then went to it. Ten minutes into my meditation, I hear some strange beeps. But strange beeps are not uncommon when listening to Nine Inch Nails. Yes, I meditate to Nine Inch Nails, no not the screaming thrashing stuff, Corona Radiata. Not that I dislike the screaming thrashing stuff. A few minutes later, the same beeps. I had once again forgotten that my new microwave keeps fucking beeping after your shit is done. Until you go and open the door, it beeps every couple of minutes. Try as might to shut it out, it drove me fucking ape shit.
Later that day I met with a new magick meetup group. Nice folks, a bit more on the touchy-feely wicca end of things. Not that that’s bad or wrong, just a different direction than I am moving. It did make me realize how people become gurus. I never understood the concept of gurus before, I am not a follower, and I would not want to be some one’s spiritual leader. But I have noticed practicing ceremonial magick that whenever people have technical questions, or don’t understand principles, they immediately turn to me. They know I studied, I read the books, I took the time. I feel, ever so slightly, taken advantage of, as these folks don’t want to put in the effort, they just want you to deliver the goods. Makes me want to take them by the hand and go, this is how you do it. Too much power if you ask me.
Today’s work went a bit better. When I first entered my temple I noticed the offering cup I leave for Loki had spilled over. Funny thing is, I was just thinking last night that I had failed in my tradition of giving some to Loki every time I open a new bottle of mead. So now I really need to replace my altar cloth. I’m not saying he knocked it over, per-se. There’s a very good chance I bumped it after ritual yesterday without noticing. But it did seem as if the back-drop cloth on my alter had moved as well, which is pretty secure.
I had a hard time keeping focused during meditation and found myself returning to my number visualizations in order to calm my mind.
During banishing an interesting thing happened. At the start of my banishing I always visualize a night sky full of stars above me. A green aurora borealis cuts across, turns into a huge dragon-serpent, then coils and strikes, moving so fast it circles the earth in seconds. This serpent has many meanings for me. On one hand it is the Midgard Serpent, the world serpent. Also, it represents a source of wisdom as in the Celtic mythology. Last, and most strongly for me, it represents the raw force of magick itself. Something that spoke to me instantly was when I heard Peter J. Carroll refer to the calling to become a magus as “The Serpent’s Bite”.
Today it came down from the sky unbidden, and struck out towards me, passing through me, filling me with an ecstatic green flame. Afterwards, all of my pentagrams flamed with a slight greenish tinge. It makes me want to work him into my rituals even more.