Category: Uncategorized

Dream Journal

09/30-10/01

I dreamt that I was a child, about 10 years old. Me and some others were on a beach, grey and desolate, the waves crashing upon rocks. We were playing this game where we would hop up on this low wall and then scoot across in a line. All the while we chanted a sing-song chant, like a rope-skipping rhyme, except this one was in praise of the Great Old Ones.

I could feel his massive presence. We were scared, but knew that there was no way to hide, no way to avoid what was to come. So we just kept on playing. And Cthulhu was on his way.

Magick Working Journal

09/29 & 09/30/11

Yeah, I fucked off yesterday, probably because I had shitty meditation. I meditate right before lunch, to give me a break in my day. I went down, put some stuff in the microwave to defrost, and then went to it. Ten minutes into my meditation, I hear some strange beeps. But strange beeps are not uncommon when listening to Nine Inch Nails. Yes, I meditate to Nine Inch Nails, no not the screaming thrashing stuff, Corona Radiata. Not that I dislike the screaming thrashing stuff. A few minutes later, the same beeps. I had once again forgotten that my new microwave keeps fucking beeping after your shit is done. Until you go and open the door, it beeps every couple of minutes. Try as might to shut it out, it drove me fucking ape shit.

Later that day I met with a new magick meetup group. Nice folks, a bit more on the touchy-feely wicca end of things. Not that that’s bad or wrong, just a different direction than I am moving. It did make me realize how people become gurus. I never understood the concept of gurus before, I am not a follower, and I would not want to be some one’s spiritual leader. But I have noticed practicing ceremonial magick that whenever people have technical questions, or don’t understand principles, they immediately turn to me. They know I studied, I read the books, I took the time. I feel, ever so slightly, taken advantage of, as these folks don’t want to put in the effort, they just want you to deliver the goods. Makes me want to take them by the hand and go, this is how you do it. Too much power if you ask me.

Today’s work went a bit better. When I first entered my temple I noticed the offering cup I leave for Loki had spilled over. Funny thing is, I was just thinking last night that I had failed in my tradition of giving some to Loki every time I open a new bottle of mead. So now I really need to replace my altar cloth. I’m not saying he knocked it over, per-se. There’s a very good chance I bumped it after ritual yesterday without noticing. But it did seem as if the back-drop cloth on my alter had moved as well, which is pretty secure.

I had a hard time keeping focused during meditation and found myself returning to my number visualizations in order to calm my mind.

During banishing an interesting thing happened. At the start of my banishing I always visualize a night sky full of stars above me. A green aurora borealis cuts across, turns into a huge dragon-serpent, then coils and strikes, moving so fast it circles the earth in seconds. This serpent has many meanings for me. On one hand it is the Midgard Serpent, the world serpent. Also, it represents a source of wisdom as in the Celtic mythology. Last, and most strongly for me, it represents the raw force of magick itself. Something that spoke to me instantly was when I heard Peter J. Carroll refer to the calling to become a magus as “The Serpent’s Bite”.

Today it came down from the sky unbidden, and struck out towards me, passing through me, filling me with an ecstatic green flame. Afterwards, all of my pentagrams flamed with a slight greenish tinge. It makes me want to work him into my rituals even more.

Where is Everybody – Nine Inch Nails

elfboi:

shadowmagnet:

geraldinegranger:

astudyinblueandblack:

chelsealauren2010:

strawberryjame:

148km:

Modest Mouse – The View

that’s sort of depressing lol

The Doctor Who theme song played on classic guitar?

Sounds good.

Take Me Out – Franz Ferdinand

Learning How to Smile – Everclear

Vale Decem (a.k.a. the song that played when the 10th Doctor regenerated)

HOW APPROPRIATE.

The Life of a Mary Sue? D: wut.

Waiting Room by Switchblade Symphony…er…alright…o.O

Northern Lite – Alien Girl

Dream Journal

09/29-09/30/11

Had some smoke last night. I know that I had dreams but lost most of them upon waking. I only vaguely remember loosing a tooth in one of my dreams.

Dream Journal

09/28-09/29/11

This one needs some background. The Superbowl is coming to my town next year. It sucks that I am dreaming about it, as I despise professional sports in general. I assume it effects my subconscious because I used to work in hotels and these sort of events would be a great pain in the ass.

I dreamt my wife and I were going out to a bar while the Superbowl was going on. Interestingly, the town we travelled through seemed more like a combination of Kalamazoo and Sister Lakes, Michigan, where we used to live. Not much like Indianapolis. No surprise I dreamt about going out as we had visited our favorite place last night, the White Rabbit Cabaret.

The bar in my dream was an odd two story structure. Because of all the Superbowl people in town, we could find no place to park. In that strange sort of dream logic the bartender told us to go ahead and drive our car inside and park on the balcony. So I did, parking next to two other cars on a rickety looking wooden balcony, also occupied by several patrons.

The place was packed, not with the Superbowl crowd, but with the regulars. I didn’t actually know any of the people there (except my wife), but they all looked vaguely familiar, like folks we see at the White Rabbit. Someone on the balcony was celebrating a birthday. Though I don’t remember the actual words, I know I enjoyed some conversation with them.

When time came to go I went to pull my car out. As I suspected, parking on the balcony turned out to be a bad idea, as I crashed into the bar trying to leave. No one seemed upset about it, but I had to find another way home.

We started walking down the dark tree-lined streets. Occasionally passing others. We came upon three guys, college age. I was still in a good mood and asked them if they knew a good way to get us home. Smiling the whole time, they attacked me, knocking me down. Then they attacked my wife. When that happened I woke up in a panic.

One general observation from all this. It wasn’t drinking that prevented me from remembering my dreams as I had a couple last night. The only variable that sticks out now is skipping my meditation on the weekends.