Tag: magick

Magick Working Journal

10/03/11

I wanted to use a mudra today, a hand position that is supposed to invoke certain feelings if used during meditation. I have mentioned before my magus motto – Quero Regnum – which means “I seek the Kingdom.” Its a surprisingly Christian theme (surprising for me anyway), that expresses my desire to use my actions to create a utopia based on love and peace here on earth. In some ways, I view the magickan’s journey through the Tree of Life in reverse. I believe we need to bring heaven to us here in Malkuth.

To fit my motto I decided on the “Connect to the Earth” mudra. I have never seen myself as much of an environmentalist, or an Earth worshipper. This was more to connect with my motto. Yet, when I used it, I came to the realization that whatever we do as human beings, we really need to clear it with the planet we live on, which I believe to be an entity. After this, I sought a connection with her. I felt a profound sadness, and not anger, but frustration that she has been trying to get our attention, but we have not been listening.

Magick Working Journal

09/29 & 09/30/11

Yeah, I fucked off yesterday, probably because I had shitty meditation. I meditate right before lunch, to give me a break in my day. I went down, put some stuff in the microwave to defrost, and then went to it. Ten minutes into my meditation, I hear some strange beeps. But strange beeps are not uncommon when listening to Nine Inch Nails. Yes, I meditate to Nine Inch Nails, no not the screaming thrashing stuff, Corona Radiata. Not that I dislike the screaming thrashing stuff. A few minutes later, the same beeps. I had once again forgotten that my new microwave keeps fucking beeping after your shit is done. Until you go and open the door, it beeps every couple of minutes. Try as might to shut it out, it drove me fucking ape shit.

Later that day I met with a new magick meetup group. Nice folks, a bit more on the touchy-feely wicca end of things. Not that that’s bad or wrong, just a different direction than I am moving. It did make me realize how people become gurus. I never understood the concept of gurus before, I am not a follower, and I would not want to be some one’s spiritual leader. But I have noticed practicing ceremonial magick that whenever people have technical questions, or don’t understand principles, they immediately turn to me. They know I studied, I read the books, I took the time. I feel, ever so slightly, taken advantage of, as these folks don’t want to put in the effort, they just want you to deliver the goods. Makes me want to take them by the hand and go, this is how you do it. Too much power if you ask me.

Today’s work went a bit better. When I first entered my temple I noticed the offering cup I leave for Loki had spilled over. Funny thing is, I was just thinking last night that I had failed in my tradition of giving some to Loki every time I open a new bottle of mead. So now I really need to replace my altar cloth. I’m not saying he knocked it over, per-se. There’s a very good chance I bumped it after ritual yesterday without noticing. But it did seem as if the back-drop cloth on my alter had moved as well, which is pretty secure.

I had a hard time keeping focused during meditation and found myself returning to my number visualizations in order to calm my mind.

During banishing an interesting thing happened. At the start of my banishing I always visualize a night sky full of stars above me. A green aurora borealis cuts across, turns into a huge dragon-serpent, then coils and strikes, moving so fast it circles the earth in seconds. This serpent has many meanings for me. On one hand it is the Midgard Serpent, the world serpent. Also, it represents a source of wisdom as in the Celtic mythology. Last, and most strongly for me, it represents the raw force of magick itself. Something that spoke to me instantly was when I heard Peter J. Carroll refer to the calling to become a magus as “The Serpent’s Bite”.

Today it came down from the sky unbidden, and struck out towards me, passing through me, filling me with an ecstatic green flame. Afterwards, all of my pentagrams flamed with a slight greenish tinge. It makes me want to work him into my rituals even more.

Magick Working Journal

09/28/11

I am pretty stoked about the Occupy movement coming to Indianapolis. I knew that if I attempted no-mind meditation today it would be pointless. I increased my meditation time, and after settling into my four-fold breath, let myself visualize what the protest will look like. I ended up brainstorming ways I can help the people camping out. I’m no camper, and while I plan on protesting during the day, I will drive back and forth to the site. I realized that I could also transport food, laundry, and other necessities for those who do stay.

After banishing I felt a strong sense of inner peace. Maybe this opportunity to transform my rage into action will be fulfilling.

I used camphor resin as incense today, powerful stuff. I think I will reserve that for healing and clearing the mind. As the concrete floor of my temple gets colder and colder, I will need a carpet fairly soon. I plan on painting a circle on an area rug. I know one of the inscriptions for the circle will be my motto – Quero Regnum – “I seek the Kingdom”. Still debating on what the rest will be. I looked as AC*’s example for Liber ABA. God names may make an appearance.

*Yes, I am making my peace with Aleister Crowley. I have ordered The Magick of Aleister Crowley by Lon Milo DuQuette to further my understanding.

Dream Journal

09/27-09/28/11

For the most part, my dreams last night elude my waking memory. I do remember two things. One, visiting a huge dead tree with multiple trunks. The bark rotting off of it.

Second, the word “Leviathan”. I don’t know who spoke it or why. It’s a bit disconcerting, but more curious. I don’t fear Christian concepts of devils and demons anymore. In fact, I find one man’s demon is another man’s angel. I still wonder why he mattered so much to remember his name so distinctly. I am fearful of Cthulhu, whom I believe to be a form of Leviathan.

Magick Working Journal

09/26/11

In meditation today I continued to use the roman numeral visualization to control my four-fold breath. It works well and is a keeper. I also visualized Baphomet again. This was more of a summoning than him coming unbidden. He imparted no new information, but didn’t seem put-out to be there.

During meditation I felt as if someone I have known was trying to contact me, or thinking of me. I hope she’s okay.

During banishing, my index finger now automatically goes over the cross-piece of my sword. It seems more natural that way, a more stable grip. Not effective for using a sword in combat but seems to be good for ritual. A small detail, but perhaps significant.

I have been thinking about magickal terminology and once again entertaining the idea of writing a book on magick. I’m not sure if I really have enough experience, but I may give it a shot anyway. It can only be good for me in my own practice. A new blog post may be in the works.

Magick Working Journal

Since I am using tumblr for my dream journal why not take it one step further and use it for my magick working journal as well?

9/23

Realized that my muse needs a place to sit and join me for meditation and ritual. I will lay out my black padded circle for her. 

Decided during meditation today to work on breathing and visualization. Using four-fold breaths, I imagined roman numerals floating just in front of my forehead. Burning blue on the inhale, burning red on the exhale. I was able to keep this going for some time but realized that it prevented me from relaxing my mind enough to receive visions. 

When I stopped counting I was immediately visited by Baphomat. I was sitting beside him around a fire. He kept trying to give me something and eventually I was able to reach out and take it. It was a book which at the same time was a yellow flower. 

I am taking this as him advising me to learn more about the natural world. There may be more to it. 

Finished with banishing.